Trigger warning: This article discusses sexual assault.
It was back in 2021 when Chanel Contos launched the Teach Us Consent initiative. What started as a petition (which attracted 44,000 signatures) calling for consent to be included in Australian schools’ sex education in earlier schooling years, has since become a bigger campaign spearheading the fight for consent education reform.
Over the past three years, Contos has worked with the Australian Curriculum, Assessment and Reporting Authority to update and incorporate consent education state-wide, worked with NSW Police to encourage informal reporting of sexual assault, and hosted roundtables attended by government and victim-survivors to discuss stealthing, the non-consensual removal of a condom.
That discussion continues in Contos’ latest partnership with Tinder and its new Consent Course, focused on educating users on dating safety. Findings from Tinder’s recent Consent Study, revealed that while many young Australians feel confident about understanding consent, there’s still a significant gap in knowledge, with 25% of Gen Z and Millennial dating app users mistakenly believe stealthing is consensual or are unsure about its legality, while 79% of respondents have felt pressure to conform to a partner’s intimate interests.
Here, Contos speaks to Missing Perspectives about the partnership, young people’s views on consent, and what needs to be done to address the issue of stealthing.
Thanks so much for taking the time to speak to us, Chanel. Firstly, how did the opportunity come about to be involved with Tinder’s Consent Course, and how would you describe your involvement in the project?
My involvement with Tinder’s Consent Course is part of an evolving project that started with our collaboration on Tinder’s Dating Dictionary: Consent Edition. This new initiative builds on that work, and it certainly won’t be the last project we undertake together in this space. Our shared goal is to foster healthier, more respectful interactions online and offline. My connection with Tinder actually began after a government roundtable on preventing violence on apps, which opened the door for us to explore meaningful ways to address consent and safety in the digital dating world.
From Tinder’s recent Consent Study, 25% of Gen Z and Millennial dating app users mistakenly believe stealthing is consensual or are unsure about its legality, while 79% of respondents have felt pressure to conform to a partner’s intimate interests. Why do you think many young people are still unclear of what consent means and what constitutes consent?
I think these are two different issues. The misunderstanding around specific terms like stealthing stems from not fully grasping the nuances of consent, which includes the need for all parties to be fully informed. It also comes from the persistence of harmful stereotypes about what constitutes a violation of consent. Many people still don’t understand that violating consent doesn’t always involve physical violence—it can also occur in more subtle ways.
As for feeling pressured to conform to a partner’s intimate interests, that can arise from a variety of factors, including societal pressures to be agreeable, a lack of confidence in asserting personal boundaries, or even the pervasive influence of media (including pornography), which can often glorify certain behaviours or norms. This pressure can make people feel like they have to go along with things they’re not comfortable with, which highlights why ongoing conversations about consent and helping people understand where their boundaries lie are so important.
What are some common myths around consent for young people, and how do we debunk these?
Some common myths around consent for young people (and to be honest, older people too!) include the belief that consent is a one-time agreement, that it’s implied in certain situations (e.g. in a relationship) or that silence equals consent. Another big misconception is that consent has to be awkward or overly formal. Consent can be a natural, simple exchange of words or even conveyed through clear body language. It doesn’t have to feel like a big deal; it’s just about checking in and making sure both people are comfortable and on the same page.
To debunk these myths, we need to emphasise that consent is active, ongoing, and can be withdrawn at any time. It’s about enthusiastic participation, not just the absence of a ‘no.’ There’s also a myth that violations of consent are always overtly violent, when in reality it can be much more subtle, like coercion or manipulation. Through education and conversations like those we’re having with Tinder’s Consent Course, we’re helping to shift these misconceptions and make sure young people understand that consent is mutual, clear, and required every step of the way – online and IRL.
People often talk about verbal and non-verbal consent. How can young women navigate the difference between the two and why does the course outline verbal as the first way to ask for consent initially in a relationship?
Verbal consent is emphasised in the course as the first way to ask for consent because it’s the clearest and most direct way to ensure both partners are on the same page, especially in the early stages of a relationship. While non-verbal cues are also important, they can be easily misinterpreted, so verbal communication helps set the foundation for trust and open dialogue. Starting with verbal consent builds confidence in expressing boundaries and desires, making it easier to understand both verbal and non-verbal signals as the relationship evolves.
From dating apps to sexting, a lot of activity around relationships evolves online for many young people. How can we better address issues such as image-based abuse involving deepfakes, or where photos of young women are sent around without their consent?
To tackle issues such as image-based abuse, including deepfakes and the sharing of intimate photos without consent, we need stronger legal frameworks and education. It’s essential to teach young people about the seriousness of these violations and the long-term impact they can have. Platforms must also take responsibility by developing better safeguards and reporting systems to prevent and address abuse. Additionally, we need to promote a culture of respect online, making it clear that sharing or manipulating someone’s image without their consent is a form of abuse and is never acceptable
A lot has already changed since you founded Teach Us Consent. Where do you hope to see consent education in Australia in the next five to 10 years?
I hope Australia becomes world leading in this space in the next 5-10 years, and I hope that the state of our consent education is so effective by then that a company like Teach Us Consent doesn’t need to exist anymore!
The Consent Course is available on Tinder’s School of Swipe microsite now. In addition to the course, users can also access the comprehensive Dating Safety Guide and Dating Dictionary: Consent Edition.
Listen to Chanel on the Missing Perspectives Booksmart podcast.
If this article raises any concerns for you, please call 1800RESPECT for around the clock counselling and support. Alternatively, you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14.