Josephine Mukamuhoza (18, Rwanda). TW: Discussion of sexual assault.
I became a single mother at 15 after I was sexually abused. But this doesn’t define who I am.
I am 18 years old now and live in the Rubona area in Rwanda. My parents separated when I was 11, and my two brothers and I remained with my mother. As a single parent it was incredibly challenging for my mother to care for us. She had to work long hours on the farm to provide for us.
My parents’ separation deeply affected me. I avoided talking to other girls at school and in my neighbourhood. I became withdrawn – I used to love dancing and singing with my friends, but I stopped doing that because of all the stress at home. Growing up, I was incredibly close to my two brothers and looked up to them. Both serve in the army, and witnessing their dedication to duty made me realise I too wanted to serve my country. I decided to complete my studies and become a police officer.
However, life had other plans for me. While preparing for my senior class exams, a family friend, who was much older than me, promised me a gift if I passed my exams. One day he invited me to his house to pick a gift, but when I went there, he sexually abused me. Soon after I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t want to stop studying but raising a child is a full-time job and I eventually dropped out of school when I was 15. With the constant demands of motherhood, my hopes of returning to school faded.
Yet deep down, I still held on to the dream of finishing my schooling and becoming a police officer.
Last year in 2023, I joined Women for Women Rwanda’s Adolescent Girls program, which was a turning point in my life. I remember being very nervous on my first day of training – I had been away from any formal learning environment for one-and-a-half years and wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep up with the other girls. But as the weeks went by, my nervousness was replaced by confidence.
Over the past 10 months, I have developed valuable entrepreneurship, advocacy, and hairdressing skills. I now understand my rights as a young woman, including education, inheritance, and taking charge of my body. Through the program I connected with other girls my age who are now some of my closest friends. It was not just about learning a trade but also rebuilding my confidence and believing in myself again.
I began dreaming again of going back to school and becoming a police officer. The idea of wearing a police uniform, serving, and protecting my community is exciting to me.
I graduated from the program in July 2024 and am now focused on my next steps. I want to earn and save money by working as a hairdresser. With the money from that, I want to return to school and then fulfil my dream of joining the police force.
My daughter gives me the strength and motivation to work hard and create a better life for both of us. I have also returned to my passion of dancing and love creating dance videos on social media.
I am proud of myself for daring to pursue my dreams despite my struggles. I want to teach my daughter to dream big and not give up.
