Happy asexuality awareness week to the divas who make up the A in LGBTQIA+. The A is not silent anymore, and neither am I. To celebrate this iconic week of fighting for a smidge of visibility, eating lots of cake, and wishing we had a less fugly flag, I thought I would take a moment to rank on-screen depictions of asexuality, because what else is a mouthy ace baddie with more opinions than brain cells meant to do?
Disclaimer however that I will only be ranking canonical asexual characters on this list, not ones who have been retconned by creators years later on Twitter to be a part of our community (vale Perry the Platypus).
Now without further adieu, let’s get ranking!
House
Honestly, between House and Nymphomaniac, either deserves to come first in the ranking of the worst depictions of asexuality in media. If you have seen them, then you are acutely aware of why that is.
This episode is a hate crime against the asexual community. In the ninth episode of season 8 ‘Better Half’, an asexual couple comes to the doctor, and House bets him money that they are lying about being asexual because “The only people who don’t want [sex] are sick, dead, or lying”. And the most frustrating thing is that House ends up being correct. The man has a medical condition that is affecting his sex drive and attraction levels, and the woman is lying so that she can be with him. This episode runs the gamut of asexual stereotypes, and given that over 9 million people watched that episode when it aired, I cannot even begin to fathom how much harm it’s done for asexual visibility and our society’s collective (mis)understanding of asexuality.
Nymphomaniac
In case aspiring filmmakers are reading this article, let me give you one piece of advice: do not make your asexual character an attempted rapist who was pretending to be asexual to lure a woman into his home and get her to lower her walls, only to take advantage of her. Yes, this truly happens in Nymphomaniac. And it is not like the character was retconned years later to be asexual by the creator, no! They explicitly say in the film that Stellan Skarsgard’s Seligman is asexual. There are no words for how disgusting these films are, and I will never be able to get the 241 minutes back I wasted watching them.
Riverdale
I don’t think Riverdale technically counts as asexual representation, but it is on this list as an example of asexual erasure. Jughead Jones, portrayed by perennial edge lord Cole Sprouse, is canonically asexual in the comics, but the show decided to remove this very important part of his identity because “sex sells”. This decision still haunts me to this day because I hate knowing that the inclusion of his sexuality could have helped me figure out that I was asexual years earlier than I did, and know I was not alone in feeling that way. Screw you, Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa! I hope all of your future projects continue to get cancelled after one season.
Sex Education
Oh, Sex Education, I had such high hopes for you, and yet you were a colossal disappointment on so many fronts. The first asexual character in the show, Florence, was well done but underutilised. And then when they sought to correct this problem, we ended up with O, a cold and calculated character with seemingly very little humanity. The poor reception to this character was near universal and rightfully so, especially after it was revealed that aroace activist Yasmin Benoit was brought on as a consultant for the show and even they were disappointed with how the “nuance got lost in translation”. O was a landmark feat for asexual representation in media as the asexual first woman of colour, and yet somehow they fumbled this plot so immensely.
Game of Thrones
Varys, you aroace diva! There are few things more asexual than saying “When I see what desire does to people, what it’s done to this country, I am very glad to have no part in it”.
Slow
Slow is likely the best movie depiction of asexuality that we have. The film is a very traditional love story at the start, but soon becomes a true asexual love story. Dovydas and Elena start dating, but he soon comes out as asexual, and she at first does not believe him. Then when they do start dating, she pushes his boundaries around sex multiple times. This film explores topics such as attraction, gender roles and expectations, asexual people and masturbation, and so much more. It was a hard watch as an ace girlie, but I also feel better having seen so many elements of my community be so beautifully portrayed on screen.
Shortland Street
Shortland Street (a long-running New Zealand soap) is home to the first asexual main character in a television series, dating all the way back to 2007. Gerald Tippett was a character in the show ahead of realising he was asexual, and then had a coming out storyline, and afterwards a multitude of other plots relating to his asexuality, and others not. Gerald’s arc is the blueprint for creating an asexual character who is more than their identity, while delving deep enough into their asexuality that it doesn’t feel discarded.
Heartbreak High
In some ways, it hurts not to rank this as number one, given that it is the whole reason I felt emboldened to come out. But despite being able to sing until the cows come home about how much I love Ca$h’s journey of asexuality, it is not without its faults. The show has only uttered the world “ace” once, and the suggestion was swiftly met with Ca$h saying “fuck you”, and then discussing their confusion with their identity. This is immensely realistic and in character, but I think that given how little people know about asexuality, the writers need to spell it out a bit more in season three. I know many people who watched the first two seasons were unaware that Ca$h was an asexual character. But regardless, nothing but love for my asexual eshay bbgirl.
Heartstopper
Heartstopper feels so authentic in its portrayal of asexuality, which is unsurprising given that author Alice Oseman herself is asexual and aromantic. I have famously said that Heartstopper’s depiction of the asexual experience feels akin to watching a horror movie, given just how frighteningly revealing it is of my own fears about my own asexuality. This show is proof that we need diverse storytellers in media, because without them, there would not be the same level of understanding and honesty in the aroace experience.
Bojack Horseman
There truly is no other option for this number one slot. BoJack Horseman has always been leading the charge when it comes to asexual representation. It is a landmark piece of asexual media, and Todd Chaves will always be sooooo loved by the asexual community.
We would not have characters like Ca$h and Isaac if Todd didn’t exist, and we have seen so much of the asexual experience through Todd. From finding community, exploring the struggles of dating, coming out to friends, and navigating living in a hypersexual world. Todd Chaves really is the asexual icon that we all deserve.